


Holding Back Fire

by boomeranglord



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), F/F, F/M, Firelord Zuko (Avatar), Fluff, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Leader of the water tribe, Lesbian Mai (Avatar), M/M, Multi, Non Graphic, Nonbinary Zuko (Avatar), Past Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Protective Sokka (Avatar), Self Harm, Sokka (Avatar)-centric, Sokka - Freeform, Zuko (Avatar) is Bad at Feelings, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, arnook sokka, cuddles needed, cute but angsty, idk but they gay, katara and aang are good parents shut up, mentally ill zuko, soft sokka, some smut, zuko needs a vacation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:20:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28855752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomeranglord/pseuds/boomeranglord
Summary: The Gaang have gone their separate ways in adulthood with Katara and Aang married and expecting their first-born, Sokka becoming Chief of the Southern Water Tribe, Zuko becoming Fire Lord, Suki becoming leader of the Kyoshi Warriors, Mai and Ty Lee becoming an item and Toph doing… whatever Toph is doing…But with growing up comes growing apart… and extreme stress.Watch Zuko and Sokka go on their own holiday adventure to escape their reality and fall in love on the way.
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	1. The Darkest Hour Is Just Before The Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first real, published fanfiction and I'm so excited for you all to read it! It is an ongoing process so sorry for waiting times etc but I got so excited I wanted to share the first chapter and take it from there (also maybe having a chapter published will motivate me to write the rest) 
> 
> First chapter isn't too eventful just some sad Zuko hours and pining for Sokka - as per usual. 
> 
> Please enjoy and I'll see you all soon! 
> 
> \- SM. Syomina

The sun was rising upon the Fire Nation, its golden rays warm as it illuminated everything within its reach. The sky was fading from the deep black of the night to the hazy blue of the morning and the streets were slowly becoming crowded with the hustle and bustle of the day, but for the Fire Lord, it was yet another sleepless night.

Zuko had not been sleeping recently, due to a sense of despair that had overcome him in the past few weeks. Known for his confidence and generosity as Fire Lord, Zuko had become a crumbling mess under the weight of his responsibilities. He had begun to believe that his role was far too much for him to handle and wished that he had let his uncle Iroh take over for longer. However, he knew that was not what Iroh wanted.

Iroh had recently opened the Jasmine Dragon, a tea shop which was a great passion of his, and Zuko knew this. Iroh was a kindred spirit who had watched Zuko grow from an angry and spiteful boy to a compassionate and strong-willed young man. Zuko knew that his uncle deserved retirement in peace, however, didn't dismiss the fact that he wished Iroh would take over, having the weight of a whole nation resting on his shoulders was far too much for the young man. Though in his prime, he still had a lot of learning to do and seemed confused with his position in the world. Thus resulting in his current crisis. 

The firebender had been lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, for just over an hour. He thought about getting up but wasn't sure what he'd do afterwards. He thought about going to the baths or possibly the kitchens, but he couldn't make himself stand. His limbs seemed too weak to lift his weight. So he continued to lay there, his entire body limp atop his red, silk sheets.

Looking around his room, he thought the luxuries of his palace seemed unmerited. He had done nothing to deserve such lavishness, except from being born into royalty and he constantly felt guilty about this for he had seen people with nothing on his travels. People born into poverty and squalor. He didn't feel deserving of such a luxurious life. Though he was aware of his own struggles, of course, they didn’t feel enough to justify the way he felt - the way he acted. 

After several minutes of contemplation, Zuko got up from his bed and went to walk out of his chambers when he caught a glance of his complexion in the mirror; the man who looked back at him was tired, his eye bags dark and his unwashed hair messily draped over one shoulder, covering his dirtied robe. He sighed deeply and dropped his head. His appearance had always made him feel ashamed. His slender physique, his dark hair, his scar. He hated it all. 

He had been shamed for his physique from a young age, especially by his father and Azula. His mother would usually stop it but when she was gone he was left to deal with it on his own.

He stopped himself from thinking of it more, feeling a tear drop from his unscarred eye, and gently glide down his cheek. He wiped it away and looked back up to the mirror. He took a long gander at his face and brushed his hair back with one hand, giving his reflection a weak smile before turning away from it and heading to the kitchen. 

Once he had made his way to the kitchen he was greeted by the palace staff. He made sure to be polite as they asked him what he wanted for breakfast. He sat next to the window in the dining room, looking out upon the grounds and letting his mind wander to happier times. His first thought was of his friends. He hadn't had the time to see them recently due to his duties as Fire Lord. He missed them like crazy. It had been months since he last saw Katara or Aang. Katara was at home in the South Pole, pregnant with her first born and Aang would either be with her or off doing Avatar business. 

Republic City was now almost finished. The Gaang were quite proud of it too. It seemed to symbolise the peace they had dreamed of since they were children. Sokka was especially proud of it, although no one quite knew why he seemed so content with his role. Since Suki left to become a Kyoshi Warrior he had been quite gloomy, though understanding that it was something she wanted to do he still couldn't hide his love for her. Toph was now head of police in Republic City. She seemed to be enjoying it a little more than she should be, but controlling a situation was always something Toph was good at. 

All of his friends seemed to have their lives on track, but he seemed to be going nowhere. Mai had left him after they had both realised they were not in love in the way they thought. Though charmed by one another, it wasn't a romantic bond - merely a comfortable bond like that of friends - and due to certain recent realisations they realised they weren't each other's type at all. He was also proud to be Fire Lord but he worried that he was just letting his people down and would become known as the youngest and biggest failure of the Fire Nation. He sighed deeply as he snapped out of his thoughts. He saw his server walking towards him and smiled, thanking them as they placed his plate in front of him. He started to eat his breakfast, taking a sip of his tea first before digging into his eggs and bacon. He sighed, this was the first time he had eaten a proper meal in days. He had been so busy wrapped up in his own head recently. 

Taking another sip of his tea, he felt the presence of someone walking towards him, looking up he saw his old friend, Sokka. He put down his tea and stood up.

“Sokka! Long time no see, how are you?” He said excitedly, a smile consuming his face.

“Your Majesty,” Sokka chuckled, performing a flourish with his hands before bowing in an overexaggerated fashion, “I am honoured to be in your presence.”

Both men laughed.

“Oh please Sokka, how are you, it feels like years. Take a seat, relax, would you like some food? I’m sure my servers ca-”

“Zuko, Zuko relax, I am a-okay,” Sokka laughed softly, taking a seat across the table from the Fire Lord. “I’m doing fine, running things in the Water Tribe is tricky but I think I’m getting the hang of it. Now tell me, how are you, buddy?”

The large man smiled, reaching one hand across the table to his friend and tilting his head slightly to the side. Zuko swooned, seeing Sokka again felt so blissful, so sweet. He couldn’t help but just take a moment to appreciate his friend.

The sun dappled Sokka’s face with the delicate pattern of the cherry blossoms that were gently swaying outside in the summer breeze. It illuminated his icy blue eyes in a way that made them feel warm and added a soft golden tinge to his tawny brown skin. The image was like a painting, flawless and glowing. Ethereal. As Zuko watched Sokka’s head tilt slightly to his left, he felt himself wash further away into a trance like state.

Realising he had been staring for an awkwardly long amount of time without answering Sokka’s question he coughed and looked down to the table.

“I’m okay, I think.” He answered softly, “Things are a little all over the place but, I’m glad you’re here, Sokka.” Both of them smiled, their eyes locking briefly in a gentle gaze before they both turned to the window. They proceeded to watch the sun light the sky, in silence for a moment.

Zuko could feel an awkward tension building between the two. No matter how long he had known Sokka for there was always this tension between them, hidden in their gazes. He didn't know why, but assumed it was probably his fault and most likely to do with Sokka's long hatred of the Fire Nation. 

Zuko turned to face Sokka again, he bit his lip gently as he watched Sokka stretch, his muscles visibly moving through his skin and his back arching into an almost swan-like position. Zuko felt the tension building more as he watched his friend stretch and move around in his chair. He wondered how a man could be so strong, handsome and powerful but yet, at the same time, so elegant and beautiful, so gentle and flawless... 

“Let's go for a walk” Zuko blurted out, catching both him and Sokka off guard.

Sokka stopped mid stretch, his arms still positioned behind his head. He turned to look at Zuko and lowered them, putting a hand down on the table next to Zuko's. 

“Are you sure? I mean it is a beautiful day but if you’re not up for it then-” Sokka replied, the softness in his voice causing Zuko's heart to sore. Zuko smiled and cut him off,

“Don’t worry, I’m sure, I think it will be good for me.” He sighed, grabbing the hand Sokka had rested beside his. He looked up and they caught each other's eyes again. A flood of calm washed over the room, and Zuko realised that he had not felt so at ease in months. He smiled, his cheeks glowing a soft pink colour. 

Little did he know, Sokka felt exactly the same - and had done for a longer time than anyone was aware.


	2. I Can't Handle Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pair go for a walk on a lovely day before Sokka shows he is struggling with a dark secret.  
> They then decide it is best if they both take a well deserved break, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// this chapter is kinda emotional, just a shit ton of crying really.
> 
> I hope you like it! 
> 
> Also I can't remember if I mentioned it before but here is the spotify link to this fic's playlist! 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7ryuWdDaGL9ywJK9BxEkDd?si=eMbUoJW8SBSNydSaH1DyQQ
> 
> Enjoy! 
> 
> SM. Syomina

The pair walked out of the palace grounds and onto a tranquil pathway that surrounded a lake. It was surrounded by a plentiful amount of greenery, with fire lilies, roses and peonies sprouting through the lush green grass. A few turtle ducks swam around the sides near the wooden pavilion at the far end, which stood next to a large willow tree that’s branches reached across the lake - dropping it’s pretty green foliage as it swayed in the breeze. The smell of summer danced through the warm air and dragonfly-hummingbirds flew peacefully, collecting nectar from the flora. 

The pair walked in silence, appreciating the birds’ song, until Sokka began to speak,

“Hey, Zuko, can I ask you a question?” he asked, nervously. 

“Of course, ask away.” Zuko replied, his heart fluttering at the suspense. Sokka smiled at him and then looked down at the ground. He cleared his voice and began to speak, 

“Zuk, I’m here for a reason.” He paused, scratching the back of his neck, “Of course, I wanted to check on you, make sure all of this pressure wasn’t causing you too much stress.” He sighed, 

Zuko noticed he was getting twitchy. His large hands shaking by his sides and his teeth gently gnawing on his lower lip’s skin. Zuko stopped walking. 

“Sokka.” He began, reaching his arm out and grabbing the larger man by the forearm. Sokka spun around and looked at Zuko, their bodies close - too close. Zuko looked down and took a step back, Sokka also stepped back in response, his expression changing from nervous to well hidden disappointment. Zuko frowned and moved his hands forward to hold Sokka’s. 

The two men made eye contact again, their faces calm but confused. For a minute they just stood by the lake, the birds chirping and the foliage around them swaying gently in the breeze. Then Sokka pulled himself away, his hands slipping from Zuko’s and returning to his sides, his eyes back on the ground. Zuko copied his actions and looked down, but quickly lifted his head back up when he heard a sob emit from his lips. 

Sokka had begun to cry. And once the first tear broke free, the rest followed in a forceful stream that scattered across his softly lit brown skin. Zuko paused, unsure of how to react. He stood still as Sokka cried, his heart was being pulled by its strings, like playdough in a child’s hands. He reached an arm around Sokka, tearing up at the distress of his friend. Sokka pulled him in, his arms desperately wrapping around the smaller man’s body. 

Zuko’s eyes widened at the gesture and he held Sokka tighter as he wept, his body relaxing into every sob. He pouted, tears threatening to spill, but Zuko didn’t know how to process this. He had never seen Sokka cry before, in fact he’d never seen him show any weakness. 

“Hey, it- its gonna be okay, Sokka- S-Sokka?” Zuko spoke, his words muffled by Sokka’s shaky sobs. But Sokka couldn’t stop himself from crying, he had so much on his mind, and so much to say. 

“I’m sorry Zuko. I really-” Sokka began, his sobs cutting him off again as he wailed. His body forcing him forward as though he may vomit. Zuko’s heart shattered in his chest, tears cascading down his cheeks.  
“Don’t apologise to me Sokka, it’s okay, you let it out.” He was so confused. He wondered what could possibly be so bad that it broke Sokka down like this. He had never seen anything like it. All he could do was hold him and wait for this storm to pass. 

He focused on stroking his back. It was so muscular he could feel each and every muscle shift as he sobbed. Then he moved down to his arms - 

Sparks, his arms

Zuko just wanted to be wrapped inside them forever. He squeezed tighter, whispering confirmations into his friend's ear. 

After a long interval Sokka had stopped crying and cleared the redness from his cheeks and puffiness from his eyes. The pair then sat in silence again. Neither one knowing what to say to the other. The birds stopped their chirping after the sun dipped behind a cloud - it was going to rain. 

Sokka looked up. The clouds forming over his head threatened to spill over them much like he had done a few moments prior. He sighed. 

“I need a break.” He lifted his head to look at Zuko.

“Me too.” Zuko responded, lifting his head to make eye contact with the larger man beside him. Both chuckled. And looked back at the ground. 

“Come away with me.” Sokka said, startling them both. 

“What?” Zuko laughed and Sokka shifted uncomfortably. 

“That was a fucked up way to put that. What I mean is-” 

“Sokka, I would love to.” Zuko interrupted. He would give anything to spend more time with his friend - and after today, he was feeling there were a few problems under the surface he needed to help with. 

“R-really? You don’t have to, I really don’t want to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to. If you would rather stay at home I would completely understand, that is completely-” Sokka rambled on nervously, his left arm hiding under his right.

“Of course I want to. It’ll be fun.” Zuko chuckled, but he worried about the fragility of the man beside him. He pushed a wide fake smile onto his lips and hit Sokka’s shoulder, “It’ll be an adventure.”


End file.
